Got a Wedding Coming Up?
Wedding season approaches as I write this, and for many of you, a great many plans are underway. Caterers, flowers, honeymoon locations. So much needs to be decided.
The wedding will go perfectly from the first note of the organist to the last toss of rice. Then, everyone rushes to a beautiful reception in hopes of celebrating this great love, chatting with old friends and family, and enjoying a glorious meal. Here! Here!
Then … someone steps up to the mike, pulls out an index card, and starts to mumble a few awkward stories partly pickled by a lack of preparation and, perhaps, one too many stops at the open bar. “You might not know me, but I knew Jessica when we were in college, and let me tell you, she was lucky to graduate,” the bride’s best friend begins. We learn Jessica sometimes skipped class because of a hangover, once dated the captain of both the football and basketball teams, and really can’t stand the way her new husband likes boating so much.
Everyone laughs where they think a joke was supposed to be and claps when they believe he is finished. The bride cringes. This is not the wedding memory she wanted. This was not how it was supposed to go.
Why take a wedding speech seriously? It is the one chance we have to honor a loved one publically outside of a eulogy. It is a time of great joy, and with this, an opportunity to lift up the bride or groom with smiles and laughter. Old family friends, colleagues and business associates may be there, as well as friend who “knew you when.” Not only is your audience more than the bride groom, but it may wind up on YouTube. Do it right.
A good wedding speech is generous, funny, and warm. It goes from 1-6 minutes, so there is not much time to meander. What can you do to prepare one?
Remember Your Goal
You are honoring someone. It is about them. Whether it is your spouse, a parent, a child, or a good friend, you want to let them you know appreciate them. Don’t embarrass them. Many a relationship is ruined by telling a story that the person preferred remain locked in the archive forever.
Keep It Simple
Eloquence doesn’t need to be complicated. While being thoughtful is important, sounding like Shakespeare will not help.
Have a drink later if you like, but if you took the time to prepare your thoughts, make sure you are capable of telling them. What could be more awkward than instead of telling your best friend, “I treasure those days playing in the school yard,” you say, “Do yoush remember … member that whatchamacallit where we would, um, swing?”
Keep Stories Short
Tell anecdotes, but remember your audience just needs an overview. Get to the punch line quickly and they will be wanting more. Drag on with details, and they will be looking for the guy with the hors d’ oeuvres tray.